Tuesday, November 17, 2009

God Damn Retards

Well shit man,

No one posts on this damn thing any more. I mean what have our lives come too. We used to update weekends like it was our damn job but no now we are fucking failing at that. So now I will update what in the world has been going on with my damn life.

1. I am becoming closer and closer to becoming a republican, why because Joe Biden is a damn retard
2. I have no idea what happened saturday night, way to go the Brains; simply put I failed to use my damn brain go unbelievable drunk and let my date leave. what a damn retard, she was hot, and actually still is assuming she didn't start playing soccer for the university of dayton and ruin her car/face by attempting to drive through a telephone pole.
3.Dogs are clearly the best damn animals on earth, and I really want one of them.
4.The Wild Cards AWESOME IDEA: Buy a pack of cigs, there are 20 in a pack. Now, what if one of those ciggarettes had weed in it but you didnt know which one assuming your retarded and didnt have any smell or taste and then damn your fucking high as balls. OOOO shit I smoked the weed cigarette. If you would like to know why part 1 makes sense refer to the previous idea from Wild Card who is also from the same meaningless East Coast state.
5. School is easy to loose focus on after you manage to go to school during the summer and then continue taking classes in the fall. WAY TOO MUCH CLASS WAY TOO LITTLE SLEEP and way too little drankin.
6. Dickie V is an idiot. Anyone can take some damn adderoll and rant for hours loudly and act they know what they are talking about. What the fuck do you think most every college student who takes that shit does. What pisses me off about the people who take that shit is 80% of the them will then argue that steriods doesn't belong in sports. Well guess what jerk offs adderoll is clearly a performance enhancer.

RANT OVER

THE BRAINS

Monday, November 9, 2009

about this weekend .....


...... I don't remember.


love,
The Muscle

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Double Dang and why I love country music damn im drunk

I am fucking drunk as piss i mean shit man. Well first off i just want to let everyone know that i typing with one eye open so that i can see tha danm screen. Holy shit i hate thefact that this website shows misspellings and shit and what not i am retarded and that is apparent by the previos sentences. Either way here goes a blog since none of my damn roommates right on this shit man,

I love county music. You know why? Because if you give the music a chance you will realize that the lyrics and shit are about real fucking life they are about the real world that we live in and generally about problems that we have all had or about getting drunk on a friday.

Country music brings people together other than fucking rednecks It pisses me off so damn much when people stereotype country music with shit they dont like simply because it is south, poor and all kinds of other bullshit lies, I'll tell you what is a bunch of god damn lies, every fucking rap song written in the last 30 years. Just give country a chance man it is the real fucking deal it is the songs about the shit that are what we all want and what we all real live on daily basis and if your ass doesnt believe that then fuck off! I mean i might be more redneck than the average person but fuck off man country music is the music of the real person. that bullshit cut your wrist music is horseshit and if that is really your true feelings for life then fucking cut your damn wrist and get it over with. Rock is pretty much dead except for a few band which lyrics are based in country music were life is based on the real god damn world,

I plan on wearing my boots out every damn day i can and in every situation possible and if you fucking disagree then fuck off and let me know and i will turn them into true fag stompers but dont make fun of what i love....... life, racing, baseball and golf and those are what i love so dont tread on that shit or ill let you know about your hypocritcal life you sons of bitches country is what i love and if you dont then dont let me know just let me live my life

shit im drunk and that was long

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sorority girls are bitches, and 5 reasons why they all suck

So what do you get when you put 30 sorority girls together and tell them to have for charity by playing kickball, naturally you guessed it exactly; you get jealousy, bitching and fucking crying. Sorority girls are quite simply rich bitches with enough money to pay for their friends so they can then make fun of other girls.

The simple process that girls use to join a sorority is quite simply fucking stupid. Wheras a fraternity decides who it wants through a brilliantly time tested flawless process of drinking and hanging out talking about brotherhood bonding activities such as football or their favorite drinking games friendships are formed, and even when there are no future involving that fraternity all fraternity brothers have some sort of common thing that allows them to not hate each other and still all get along. Sororities however use a process where they dress up and act like they have some sort of self worth other than dads fucking money, remember 90% of sorority girls are simply in college to find a man who then allow then to not fucking work for the rest of their whore lives while they go off and fuck the UPS man because they realize their existence has been simply to improve the lives of the cocks for men for their entire life past 8th grade. But regardless of that sororities decide who to give a bid to based off of some whore based recruiting process that places all the whores in one place, all the ugly crazy bitches in one place, all the semi attractive stupid fucking sluts in one place, and they continue to keep their hormonal selves all grouped perfectly. And that is simply the first reason why sorority are fucking dumb.

2. Chi Omega is the single worst organization on the fucking planet. While they make an attempt to be classy girls they are no better than a hooters waitress, why because they call themselves the hooters, that's right dads your little whore you pay too much for to go to private school so they can one day teach 5 year olds, is no better than a fucking Hooters whore.

3. Girls cannot work together in any way or compete against one another without crying because they have not realized that they are fully insignificant.

4. Sororites exist for the simple fact that girls who otherwise are too big of bitches and whores to find each other so they can then be sisters for life; which pretty much means a group that can share all their fucking problems and then bitch about each other to each other all the team as they continually sabotage each other through jealous bullshit games

5. Sororities exist simply as a response to fraternities and as a result of that they fucking suck because they failed miserably and they can't even have fun. No drinking or parties in sorostitute houses, no they are just simply legal brothels.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Whores

Women are fucking stupid.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Why stereotypes are true`

So the other week we had to go to something about diversity. It ended basically telling us all that we are racists fucks because we believe in stereotypes. YOU KNOW WHY STEREOTYPES ARE STEREOTYPES, BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING TRUE!!!!!!!!!!

Think for five god damn seconds stereotypes exist for a damn reason. Does the average black male commit more crimes than other ethnic groups..........yes. Do mexicans live in large families..... fuck yes they do.

But the point about stereotypes is that they generally work. In a world were we have to make split second decisions we might as well use stereotypes.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

..... Wildcard!

First off, congrats to the Useless Chick for retaining the belt in impressive fashion. You are truly a shit show and should be proud. As for the Wildcard ........ I don't even know what to say to you. Wildcard has been living in absolute filth. His room literally smells like a locker room. Every time I walk past it I can't wait till I'm downstairs so that the smell of filth and stale beer can comfort my nostrils. I feel that I have to stress the smell because it is so shockingly bad. It smells like he's bottled up James Gandolfini's ass crack sweat, let it ferment, drank it, and then puke it up all over his room. His room is litered with empty pizza boxes, tins of dip, and cigarretts. Not to mention the piles of dirty clothes that have been spread around his room as if a tornado came through. I think the only way to clean his room is to burn it down and just start over.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

21

Enough Said right? Apparently not because I'm going to blog about it now. Yesterday started out real bad because I did really bad on my Finance test and heard about how Kayne West was being a doucebag again, but soon changed in my favor (or demise). I went to Arrow with Wild Card and was amazed at all the treats available for my taking. I bought two types of vodka and they are delicious. Red Lobsters was amazing, but 70 shrimp made me sleepy and not able to drink.... at first. Slowly the feeling of fullness left as the feeling of drunkiness overwhelmed me. I was strong at the house winning 4 consecutive beer pong games and drinking 2 shots. I was a little drunk, but I knew I wouldn't stop there. Bargos: Irish carbomb, Washington apple, Soco amaretto and lime, Bud lite, Bartender's choice shot, and another 1 or 2 shots. I'm glad the muscle and wild card went out with me, but the brains really lived up to his name by studying (fag) and the useless chick was once again being useless (enough said). I dominated the dance floor that doesn't exist at Bargos and when I was finished there was a shot waiting for me. I DRANK IT ALL! not good though because after that I casually proceded to the bathroom to do work. When I came out, BC magically appeared out of no where and made a play by taking me home. The brains and useless chick were waiting for my arrival with water and it was good. All was good and turning 21 should happen at least once every year for everyone.

Looks
P.S. (just thought this was funny so I'm going to share). I heard the brains got his name, not by being smart, but by actually giving good brain! (just throwing that out there)

Friday, September 11, 2009

Flip Cup

Never ever underestimate the number of people that can show up to a flip cup tournament. You might expect 25 teams of 4 people....... but 36 teams of 4 people is a whole different animal. $5 a person gets somewhere close to 37 cases of the BEAST. And what does that mean.........people get fucked up, and a bit angry. Either way a good time was had by most. In good news however Wild Card and The useless chick managed to cock block each other. Yes that's right they took turns cock blocking each other. And that is not good when The Animal appears in the useless chick. Yes he was in full animal mode.

For those wondering what full animal mode is. Well it's when he wants some poon, wants to ravage twat persay. The animal is not concerned with looks, even though this particular victim was a good one..... he will stick it in anything with a vagina. But this marks the first time he has been cock blocked.

And you might wonder how he got cock blocked. Well it was a purposeful cock block orchestrated by wild card. wild card and two other persons went up to the useless chick and licked the side of his face and then made him come with them. Yes those raging homos licked the side of his face............ yep that happened.

As for my night...... just got drunk. Nothing too exciting but there is a party tonight so I'll be sure to use my favorite motto..... GET DRUNK AND KICK SHIT.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Daysball (SP)

Wild card really pulled a fattie out of his pants this time. He currently believes that baseball games during the day vs. night is one of the greatest things alive. He also currently believes that he will win the presidency for the United States running on the theme of Daysball. There are many flaws with this plan my dear brother. Besides for the obvious reasons, I will point out a few things you may not have thought of. Firstly, you have to be 35 years of age in order to run for president and we all know you're probably not going to live past 30 (no offense). Secondly you wet the bed. I can't find a reason why this would stop you from becoming president, but it is against our social system set in place and it is "uncool". This phenomenon "daysball" is one of the most unappealing, self-righteous, indignified, homogenious, purposeless, menstral ideas I personally have ever heard of and regret to inform you that you are amazing despite this idea.
-Looks

Monday, September 7, 2009

Buckets with Gin in them

There is nothing wrong with a Gin Bucket; there is however something very wrong with the people that drink it. I cannot think of a better way to cap off four straight days of heavy drinking than almost drowning in a bucket full of cheap gin. This wonderful creation allows for not only the individual to have a great time just being shit-fuck drunk but also for great stories like The Useless Chick once again fucking some poor creature in the Petri dish of a room in one of the most disgusting basements I've ever seen this probably leading to the creation of an entirely new STD, so congrats to him. So all in all it was a good night and a great weekend. And I fully support another Gin Bucket in the near future.

In Support of Gin Buckets

There is nothing wrong with a Gin Bucket. If you and your friends ever feel like hey man I feel like gettin real real drunk, then make a Gin Bucket. It's pure gold for getting shit slammed. Either way I do have to confess it did make me feel like I was the Muscle not the Brains seeing as I slammed a man against a door while holding his throat. But don't worry kids, "The Brooks" is done at this house. If you get slap happy drunk and someone else is slap happy, I can guarentee the truth will come out, and it did.

On a good note I learned that liquor will guarentee me my room when "The Animal" comes out and the useless chick decides its time to fuck some broad. By the way the useless chick is my roommate and not a chick whatsoever. If I drink Liquor I will pass out early enough to not have to give up the room for the animals vag poundings.

So after a night of committing assault and battery along with passing out early in the midst of a party...........I'm still pro gin bucket.